At the Immigration’s desk in a Canadian port, a newcomer hands over his papers. The clerk checks them over and says, Sir, you put 2 in the sex section?
Yes, 2 times per week, the man replies.
But is it male or female? asks the clerk.
It doesn’t matter.
The three stages of marital sex:
Honeymoon sex… Where you have sex three or four times a night.
Vacation sex… Where you have sex ten or twelve times a year.
Oral sex… Where you stand on the opposite side of the room and shout ‘FU’!
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury or illness, or a death in the student’s immediate family.
A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?” The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, “Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with.”