At the Immigration’s desk in a Canadian port, a newcomer hands over his papers. The clerk checks them over and says, Sir, you put 2 in the sex section?
Yes, 2 times per week, the man replies.
But is it male or female? asks the clerk.
It doesn’t matter.
The three stages of marital sex:
Honeymoon sex… Where you have sex three or four times a night.
Vacation sex… Where you have sex ten or twelve times a year.
Oral sex… Where you stand on the opposite side of the room and shout ‘FU’!
Behind every great woman is her bum.
Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I’d like to spread them!
A true gentleman holds a door open for his lady and then slaps her ass!
I’m not staring at your boobs, I’m staring at your heart!
What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on!
The best thing about having a penis is…
Sharing it with people – who don’t have it!
How can you tell a head nurse?
She’s the one with the dirty knees!
If one has sex with a prostitute against her will,
is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Girls, if you’re in an argument with a guy and there is no way to win…
Start playing with your boobs!
Most of my problems can be solved with nudity!