Drinking the Milk

The wife got up early in the morning and shouted; Hey, Banta, the cat has again drunk the milk.

Banta shouted back; “I have told you to wear a Bra while sleeping!”

10 Interesting Sex Facts

  1. Every day, around 100 million acts of sexual intercourse are performed. That means that roughly 65,000 couples (or trios) are having sex right now.
  2. There are just seven calories in a teaspoon of semen.
  3. If you’re not sexually active, your willy may shrink.
  4. Sperm contains a protein with anti-wrinkle properties
  5. Onepoll.com, a global research site, reported that women believe that men from Italy, Spain and Brazil are the best lovers.
  6. Apparently, men have evolved to focus on the feature of a woman that suggest fertility: large breast, small waist and full hips indicate that a woman is healthy, young and not already pregnant.
  7. In ancient China people used to drink mercury or lead after sex to prevent pregnancy; unfortunately that often lead to sterility or even death.
  8. Strippers earn more money when ovulating, probably because of sex-stimulating pheromones.
  9. The Greeks claim to have the most sex (87% say they have sex once a week).
  10. One testicle is a little lower than the other so they don’t squash each other when a man is moving.

The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over,
my pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal
is now my water spout!
Time was when, on its own,
From my trousers it would spring,
But now its just a full time job
To find the fucking thing!
It used to be Embarrassing
The way it would behave,
for every single morning
it would stand & watch me shave!
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues,
To see it hang its little head
& watch me tie my shoes!

National Symbol

The government today announced that it is changing its national symbol to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed. Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that!

My Mop

One day a little boy sees his mother stepping out of the shower and curiously points to her triangle of hair and asks, “Mommy, what’s that?”

“That’s my mop”, she replies. The little boy then asks, “Where is the handle?” The mother replies, “Oh, Dad is going to put it on tonight.”