A guy walked into a pub and immediately noticed a young lady at the bar on her own. After a couple of drinks he decided to offer her a drink and make small talk. She accepted.
What’s your name? he asked her.
Carmen, she replied.
That’s a nice name. Did your mother or father name you that?
Neither. I changed my name when I was eighteen from Sharon to Carmen.
Why did you do that? he asked.
Well, she explained, I like men and I like cars, so that is how I got my name. What’s your name?
Beerpussy, the man replied.
A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn’t had sex with him for 6 months.
The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what’s wrong, and why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband anymore.
The wife tells him, “For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work.
I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me,
‘So are you going to pay today or what?’
so I take a ‘or what’.
“When I get to work I’m late so the boss asks me,
‘So are we going to write this down in the book or what?’
so I take a ‘or what’.
“Back home again I take the cab and again I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me again,
‘So are you going to pay this time or what?’
so again I take a ‘or what’.
“So you see doc when I get home I’m all tired out, and I don’t want it any more.”
The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, “So are we going to tell your husband or what?”
Son: Dady What is ‘POLITICS’ ?
Dad: Teri MAA Ghar Chalati He Use “SARKAR” Manlo, Main Kamata Hu Muje “KARMCHARI” Manlo Kamwali Kam Karti He Use “MAZDUR” Manlo Tum Desh Ki Janta Chote Bhai Ko Desh Ka “BHAVISHYA” Manlo.
Son: Ab muje politics samajh me aa gyi dady… Kal Raat Mene Dekha Ki “KARMCHARI MAZDUR K Sath Kitchen Me gale mil Rha Tha. SARKAR So Rhi Thi, JANTA KI KISI Ko Fikar Nahi Thi or DESH KA BHAVISHYA RO RAHA THA.
Sales Girl: sorry, you cant smoke here.
Customer: but i bought cigerates from here
Sales Girl : sir we sell condoms too, but it doesnt mean u start fukin here.
Duty: if done with ur wife.
Art: if done with ur love.
Education: if done with a virgin.
Tuition: if done with ur teacher.
Job: if done with your boss/secretary.
Science: if done with a fertile lady.
Business: if done with a prostitute.
Social Work: if done with ur neighbour.
Charity: if done with a widow.
Sacrifice: if done with ur own hand.