Sex Education

A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son…. Men use them to have safe sex.”

“Oh I see,” replied the boy pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”
The Dad replies, “Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”
“Cool!” says the boy.
He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then who are these for?”
“Those are for college boys.” The dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…

Difference in Names

A little native American boy asked his father, the Big Chief of the tribe: “Father, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have short names like Bill, Tex or Sam?”
“My son”, replied his father, “Our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem in our culture; not like the white men who live all together and merely repeat their names from generation to generation. For example, your sister’s name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake because, on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake. “Then there’s your brother, White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and of the life force of our people. It’s really very simple and easy to understand.

“Do you have any other questions for me, Little Broken Condom Made In China?”

How Was I Born…

A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said

You got Male!

Future Career

An old southern country preacher from Georgia had a teenage son named David, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn’t really know what he wanted to do, and didn’t seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy’s room and placed on his study table four objects:

a Bible, a silver dollar, a bottle of whiskey and a Playboy magazine.

“I’ll just hide behind the door”, the old preacher said to himself, “and> when he comes home from school this afternoon, I’ll see which object he picks up. If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be OK If he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be. Worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he’s going to be a skirt-chasin’ bum”.

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s footsteps as he entered the house, whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month’s centerfold…

“Lord Have Mercy” the old preacher whispered, “He’s gonna join the ARMY!”

An Elevator

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, ‘What is this Father?’
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ‘Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.’

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son… ‘Go get your Mother’