The Magic Sandals

This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a salesman say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”

So the married couple walked in. The Indian man said to them “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex like great desert camel.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them. The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?” The salesman replied, “Just try them on.”

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years!! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the salesman, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the man’s thighs.

The salesman then began screaming, STOP!!! “YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FOOT!!!

Never Lie to a Smart Woman

Husband: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!” The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good. The wife welcomed him and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my blue silk pajamas?”

“I did… They’re in your fishing box !!!

Couple on Their Honeymoon

A couple on their honeymoon is just about to make love when the girl says. I have something to admit, “I am a little bit flat.” She takes off her shirt and he says I love you just the way you are.

Then he says, I also have a confession and he points to his organ and says I am kind of built like a baby down here.

She says ok I guess I can live with that.

So he takes off his pants and she faints.

When she finally comes too she says I thought you were built like a baby. He says, “YEAH 9LBS 21 INCHES”

Free For The Last 16 Years

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”

“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”

When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!”

Cribbing Husband

Husband: Saare cooking show dekhti ho, fir bhi theek se khana banana nahi aata..??
Wife: Tum bhi to english film dekhte rehte ho, … maine kabhi complain ki..?