A little native American boy asked his father, the Big Chief of the tribe: “Father, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have short names like Bill, Tex or Sam?”
“My son”, replied his father, “Our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem in our culture; not like the white men who live all together and merely repeat their names from generation to generation. For example, your sister’s name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake because, on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake. “Then there’s your brother, White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and of the life force of our people. It’s really very simple and easy to understand.
“Do you have any other questions for me, Little Broken Condom Made In China?”
A couple on their honeymoon is just about to make love when the girl says. I have something to admit, “I am a little bit flat.” She takes off her shirt and he says I love you just the way you are.
Then he says, I also have a confession and he points to his organ and says I am kind of built like a baby down here.
She says ok I guess I can live with that.
So he takes off his pants and she faints.
When she finally comes too she says I thought you were built like a baby. He says, “YEAH 9LBS 21 INCHES”
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”
“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!”
Three girls are sitting on stools at a bar. The 3 of them are arguing on who is the slackest.
The first one says: “My boyfriend can put his whole fist in my pussy!!!”
The second one says: “Oh ya? Well my boyfriend can put his whole head in my pussy!”
The two of them then look at the third one, waiting for her to reply.
She then looks at them and says: “Oops! There goes the stool!!!”
A male patient is lying in bed In the hospital, Wearing an oxygen mask over his Mouth and nose, Still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a Partial sponge bath.
Nurse,’ he mumbles, from behind the mask ‘Are my Testicles black?’
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies ‘I don’t know,Sir. I’m only here to wash Your upper body.’
He struggles to ask again, ‘Nurse, are my Testicles black?’
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,
She overcomes her Embarrassment and sheepishly Pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his Penis in one hand and his Testicles in the other,
Lifting and moving them Around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, ‘No sir, they aren’t and I assure you, there’s nothing wrong With them, Sir !!’
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, Smiles at her and Says very slowly, ‘Thank you very much. That was Wonderful, but listen Very, very closely…..
‘ A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s -b a c k ?’