No Excuse

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury or illness, or a death in the student’s immediate family.

A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?” The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, “Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with.”

Cow Was On Heat

Little boy didn’t go to school one day.

The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said, “Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the bull”.
“How disgusting,” said the teacher? “I’m sure your father could have done that.”
“No ma’am, he couldn’t have. It has to be the bull.”