One day after a long days work a man walks into a bar. He realizes that it’s a gay bar, but decided to stay anyway.
The bartender approaches and says what’s the name of your penis.
The man replies, “I’m not like that, I just want a drink,”
The bartender says, “I can’t serve you until you give the name of your penis. For example the name of my penis is Nike, for the slogan just do it. I’ll come back in a few minutes.”
So the man thinks and turns to the man on his left and asks him the name of his penis.
The man replies, “It’s Timex, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”
The man then turns to his right and asks him. He replies “It’s Ford. Have you driven a ford lately?”
The man thinks and then calls the bartender over.
“I got a name, it’s Secret”
Why is it secret, asked the bartender?
The man says “it’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman”
A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No,”
he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I’m wearing panties!”
Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.“
During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class,
Why is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys?
Little Johnny raised his hand and replied,
That’s because guys have balls and that weighs them down.
The teacher, a bit annoyed, responded,
Then why is it that at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?
Little Johnny countered by saying,
That’s because girls get breasts and they are heavier than the guy’s balls.
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