Impotency Problem

A young man with an impotency problem consults with a doctor. After several visits and nothing happening the doctor sends him to a hypnotist. The hypnotist puts the young man under and after giving him instructions awakens him. The hypnotist tells him when he says the magical words; one, two, three, he will have an erection. The young man asks him how to make the erection go down. The hypnotist says just say one, two, three, four and it will subside. There is just one side effect and that is you won’t be able to get an erection again for at least ten months. The young guy immediately goes to a bar and picks up a stunning young woman and they proceed to a hotel where he gets the very best suite for Rs 20000.00 a night and orders in champagne at Rs 15000.00 a bottle.

They proceed to get undressed and the excited young man says the magic words “one, two three. “Immediately he has an enormous erection, which the girl admires and asks him “why did you say one, two, three for?”

Funny Phrases

  1. When I was born, I was given a choice – A big dick or a good memory. I don’t remember, what I chose.
  2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
  3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
  4. Impotence: Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings…’
  5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – “don’t” and “stop”, unless they are used together.
  6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
  7. There are three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
  8. Virginity can be cured.
  9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
  10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
  11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
  12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
  13. Q: What’s an Australian kiss?
    A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
  14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing…
  15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
    A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn’t
  16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
  17. Despite the old saying, ‘ Don ‘t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!!
  18. Breasts are proof that men can focus on 2 things at a time.