Pack of condoms

A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display.
The boy asks, What are these, Dad?
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, Those are called condoms, son… Men use them to have safe sex.
Oh I see, replied the boy pensively. Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, Why are there 3 in this package?
The Dad replies, Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.
Cool! says the boy.
He notices a 6 pack and asks, Then who are these for?
Those are for college boys. The dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.
WOW! exclaimed the boy, then who uses THESE? he asks, picking up a 12 pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…

Bartender and a Man

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 10 shots of tequila. The bartender serves him his drinks and watches as the man drinks the first shot, spits it out and says “man that boy sure can drive!” the man continues to do this with the other 9 shots repeating over and over “man that boy sure can drive!”

The bartender, getting a little pissed that the man was wasting his drinks, ask the man why he is spitting all his tequila on the floor.
The man replies. Well my friend and me were driving down this little 2-lane road. We were going about 50 mph and we look behind us and there is a big ass semi coming behind us at like 80 mph. and I turned to my friend, who was driving, and said. Continue reading

Purchasing Or Leasing – Which Is Better?

Many people cannot decide which is cheaper – purchasing or leasing.

We’d like to help you decide by illustrating two charming stories of Foolish men.

The math’s on the Paul McCartney – Heather Mills divorce was as follows:
After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million

In divorce settlement.

Assuming he had sex with her every night during their 5 year relationship
It ended up with him paying her @ $26,849 per time.

This is Heather…
Continue reading

The Garden of Eden

First, the Lord made man
in the Garden of Eden
Then he said to himself,
“There’s something he’s needing'”

After casting about for a suitable pearl,
kept messing around and
created a girl.

God named this creation
and he gave her – –

Two beautiful legs,
so long and so tender.
A beautiful waist
so slim and so slender. Continue reading

Erection For Weeks

A guy goes to the doctor. He says to the doctor, “Doc, you got to help me, I’ve had this erection for weeks. It hurts so bad, I can’t put up with it anymore. So, can you help me?”
The doctor says, “I can help you.” So he licks his two fingers and smacks the guy’s dick. Then a bug flew off and his dick went back to normal.
Then the guy said, “Doc, I feel great now! How much do I owe you?”
The doctor says, “Find me that bug and you don’t owe me nothing’.”