Little Johnny Presentation

Early one morning as school was starting the teacher called out to her students to get ready to make their presentations. She had asked the students to write about something important that happened in their families the night before.

She asked who wanted to go first and Terry and little Johnny raised their hands. She called on Terry first because Little Johnny had a tendency to be fowl mouthed Terry gave his presentation and went back to his seat.

Little Johnny walked up to the board and drew a dot and then walked back to his seat.

The teacher after pondering over this for a minute finally asked what it was and Little Johnny said it was a period and the teacher said yes I can see that but what does it mean.

Little Johnny said, “The hell if I know, but last night at dinner when my sister told my parents she missed one Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted and the drug store owner on the corner shot himself.”


A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
“Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I
‘ve never had three girls at once, so,
I need something to keep me horny, to keep men potent.”

The pharmacist reaches under the counter,
unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label Viagara Extra and says,
“Here, if you eat this, you’ll go nuts for twelve hours.”

The guy says, “Gimme three boxes.”

The next day, the guy walks into the same pharmacy,
limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants.

The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man’s penis is black and blue,
and skin is hanging off in some places.

In a pained voice, the man moans out, “Gimme a tube of Deep Heat.”

The pharmacist replies in horror, “You can’t put Deep Heat on that!”

The man replies, “No, it’s for my arms, the girls didn’t show up.

Sex Education

A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son…. Men use them to have safe sex.”

“Oh I see,” replied the boy pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, “Why are there 3 in this package?”
The Dad replies, “Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”
“Cool!” says the boy.
He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then who are these for?”
“Those are for college boys.” The dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.
“WOW!” exclaimed the boy, “then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…

The Magic Sandals

This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a salesman say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”

So the married couple walked in. The Indian man said to them “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They make you wild at sex like great desert camel.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them. The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?” The salesman replied, “Just try them on.”

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years!! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the salesman, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the man’s thighs.

The salesman then began screaming, STOP!!! “YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FOOT!!!

Never Lie to a Smart Woman

Husband: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!” The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good. The wife welcomed him and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my blue silk pajamas?”

“I did… They’re in your fishing box !!!