Difference in Names

A little native American boy asked his father, the Big Chief of the tribe: “Father, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have short names like Bill, Tex or Sam?”
“My son”, replied his father, “Our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem in our culture; not like the white men who live all together and merely repeat their names from generation to generation. For example, your sister’s name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake because, on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake. “Then there’s your brother, White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and of the life force of our people. It’s really very simple and easy to understand.

“Do you have any other questions for me, Little Broken Condom Made In China?”

Couple on Their Honeymoon

A couple on their honeymoon is just about to make love when the girl says. I have something to admit, “I am a little bit flat.” She takes off her shirt and he says I love you just the way you are.

Then he says, I also have a confession and he points to his organ and says I am kind of built like a baby down here.

She says ok I guess I can live with that.

So he takes off his pants and she faints.

When she finally comes too she says I thought you were built like a baby. He says, “YEAH 9LBS 21 INCHES”

Free For The Last 16 Years

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”

“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”

When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!”

Between The Ages

  1. Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa… virgin and unexplored.
  2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia… hot and exotic.
  3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America… fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
  4. Between the ages of 46 and 58, she is like Europe… exhausted, but still has many points of interest.
  5. After 58 she is like Australia… everybody knows it’s down there but who gives a damn.

slack or not?

Three girls are sitting on stools at a bar. The 3 of them are arguing on who is the slackest.

The first one says: “My boyfriend can put his whole fist in my pussy!!!”
The second one says: “Oh ya? Well my boyfriend can put his whole head in my pussy!”

The two of them then look at the third one, waiting for her to reply.

She then looks at them and says: “Oops! There goes the stool!!!”