Parents having sex

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.

“What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer.

“Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”

The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.”

The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?”

The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”

Married Women Vs Unmarried Women

A survey conducted among women gave the below results.

‘A’ were the answers given by unmarried women and
‘B’ are the answers given by married women.

Sure marriage gives a lot of maturity to women

1. What is the one thing that pierces a woman hard, when she hugs a man
A. Penis
B. Unshaved facial hair

2. What is the most painful experience during sex
A. Beginning of Intercourse
B. When my hair gets entangled Continue reading →

Fucking Insult

Man teases his ex-wife’s new hushand: so dude how was the second-hand stuff?

New husband: Not bad, after the first 2 inches, she was brand new!

He said to me

  1. I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it. I said to him You wear pants don’t you?
  2. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?I said to him, that’s a good idea, you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart
  3. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? I said to him Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
  4. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good – looking? I said to him They already have boyfriends.
  5. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?I said to him. A widow.
  6. Why are married women heavier than single women? I said to him. Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

Bite on Breast

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?”

“Are you nuts?!” – she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

“Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?” – he asks again.

“Listen you; I’m not that kind of woman! Got it?” So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. Continue reading →