One day a boy asked his father, “Dad, what is between moms legs?” The father reply, “The door to heaven!”

“Then what is between yours?” – the boy asked. The father said, “The key to the door!” Then the boy said, “I think you should change the lock because our neighbor has the spare key.”

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what “bitch” and “bastard” mean. They explained that they mean “lady” and “gentleman.”

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what “pen*s” and “vag*na” mean. His parents explained that they refer to “hats” and “coats.”

At supper the next day, Little Johnny’s mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled,”Oh f**k!” Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means “cut.”

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, “Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your pen*ses and vag*nas — we can’t wait to f**k the turkey!”

A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager.

The Bartender replies, “Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?”

By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them. She says, “You sure he isn’t here?”

The bartender mumbles through her fingers, “Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?”

The woman then says, “Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!”

Little 6-year old John Smith’s parents felt really horny at 11 AM on Sunday and wanted to make love, but had to get John away for at least one hour. So they told him to go to the balcony and report all activities of their neighbours for the next hour. Being the innocent, dutiful son he was raised to be, he did as he was told.

His parents amused themselves, and then came the formality of the report at 12 PM.

John said “For the past hour, the Wilsons were watching TV, Mr. Cole was playing the piano, the Johnsons were playing carrom together and the Donalds were having sex.”

His parents were shocked! They asked him “How do you know that?” He said “Their son was out on the balcony too.”

Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.