Explain Yourself!

There was this couple that was married for 10 years, and had a fine sex life, with one exception – every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights all the way.

Well, at first it wasn’t so annoying, but after 20 years of marriage the wife felt this was stupid. She figured she would break him out of the crazy habit. Frustrated woman

So one night, while they were in the middle of a romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down and saw her husband was holding a specially made pleasure device. She got very angry. “You impotent bastard!” she screamed at him, “How could you have been lying to me all these years? You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly, “I’ll explain the toy if you explain where the kids came from.”

A Theory of Happiness

A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he decides to test this theory. He convenes all the couples he can find at a special seminar.

He then starts by asking the many people in the audience.  “How many people here make love once a day?”

Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely.

“Once a week?”

A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant.

“How many of you make love once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. No grins could be sighted.

Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?” To his shock, one man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands and whistling.

The therapist is shocked—this man’s reaction completely disproves his theory! “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?”

The man yells, “Today’s the day!”

Moral Of The Story

One day, a cat and a rooster went for a walk. The cat slipped and fell into a pond full of water. When it came out, it was all wet.

The rooster laughed his heart out.

Moral of the story: Where there is a wet pussy, there is a happy cock

Business, Time Life Friendship are Like

Business is like Boobs.
It Bounces up and down.

Time is liike an Ass Hole
What passes out doesn’t come back.

Life is Like a Pussy Hole
It’s filled with Pleasure & Pain.

But Friendship is like Sex,
Life has no meaning without it.

Drinking the Milk

The wife got up early in the morning and shouted; Hey, Banta, the cat has again drunk the milk.

Banta shouted back; “I have told you to wear a Bra while sleeping!”