The Wise Confucius say… !!!

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  • Virginity like bubble. One prick, all gone !
  • Man with hand in pocket, feel cocky all day !
  • Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife, upright organ !
  • Wife who put husband in dog-house, soon find him in – cat house !
  • Wife’s panty, not best thing on earth. But next to best thing on earth !
  • Man who fight with wife all day, get no ‘ piece ‘ at night !

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Wife is Cheating

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A man and his friend went to a bar and started talking. The man says to his friend “I think my wife is cheating on me.”

The friend says, “How do you know?”
The man replies, “She didn’t come home last night and she said she was with her sister Shirley.”
The friend said, “and…..”
The man says, “She is lying because I was with her sister last night.”

Difference between Shit and Oh Shit

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A boy mistakenly sends a love letter to the brother’s girlfriend.
Shit!

Girlfriend’s brother happens to be lesbian.
OH SHIT!!

Speedy sexy jokes

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I had a visitor one night…
he explored my body…
licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill…
when satisfied he left…
I was hurt…
Damn mosquito!!!

A little boy goes to school but bringing in a cat with him. Teacher asks him “why did you bring your cat to school?”

The little boy replies, “Well, I heard my daddy telling mommy when the kids leave I’m gonna eat that pussy up.”

Mom: If a boy touches your b**bs, say “Don’t” and if he touches your pu**y say “Stop”.
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “Don’t Stop”.

Q: Who makes more money… a hooker? or a drug dealer?
A: A hooker, because she can wash her crack and sell it again.

Teacher and Her 3 Boy Students

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Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.”
Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: “Why are you leaving?”
Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”