- REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent….12 Calories
Without her consent….2187 Calories
- OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands….8 Calories
With one hand….12 Calories
With your teeth….485 Calories
- PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection….6 Calories
Without an erection….3315 Calories
Missionary….1 2 Calories
69 lying down….78 Calories
69 standing up….812 Calories
Doggy Style….326 Calories
Italian chandelier…. 2912 Calories
Real….11 2 Calories
- POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging…. ….18 Calories
Getting up immediately…. ….36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately….816 Calories
- GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years….36 Calories
30-39 years….80 Calories
40-49 years….124 Calories
50-59 years….1972 Calories
60-69 years….7916 Calories
70 and over….Results are still pending.
- DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
In a hurry…. ….98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door….5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door….13,521 Calories
Two women were playing golf.
One tee’d off and watched in horror, as her golf ball, headed directly towards four men, playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed over to the man and immediately began to apologize.
She said anxiously to him … ” Please allow me to help. I am a Physiotherapist. I know I could relieve your pain, if you would allow me ”
The man replied in pain … ” Oh, no ! I shall be all right. I should be fine, in a few minutes ”
But he was clearly still in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. The woman persisted on helping him.
Finally, he allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side. She loosened his pants. She put her hand under his brief. She cupped his testicles very gently and started soothingly massaging them. She continued doing so, for almost 2-3 minutes. The man shut his eyes and was obviously enjoying the massage !
Finally, continuing to massage his testicles, she asked him, ” How does that feel ? ”
The man replied … ” Ma’am, this feels like heaven ! I am thoroughly enjoying your hands on my testicles. But I am still a bit worried that, maybe I may have broken my thumb !!! “
Never under estimate the Importance of the BRA..
Q: Striped BRA? zeBRA
Q: Poisonous BRA? coBRA
Q: Mathematical BRA? algeBRA
Q: Sunsign BRA? liBRA
Q: Magical BRA? aaBRA ka daBRA
Q: Religious BRA? BRA hmin!
Q: Metallic bra? BRAss
Q: Anjelina Jolie’s Bra? BRAd pit…
Q: Botany BRA? BRAnch
Q: Marketing BRA? BRAnd!
Q: punctuation bra? BRAcket
Q: Scary bra? GhaBRAahat!!!!
Q: Room full of BRA’s? LiBRAry
Q: alchohlic bra? BRAndy.
Q: surname bra? ChhaBRA
Q: Country bra? BRAzil
Q: Bra which became the American President and inspired the whole world? ABRAham Lincoln!
AND U THOUGHT ONLY WOMEN USE A BRA !!!How “BRAinless”…
Happy bra day..
Having 1 child makes you a parent
but having 2 makes you a refree.
Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right
and the other is always husband.
You can’t buy love
but you pay heavily for it.
Wife and husband always compromise,
husband admits that he’s wrong and wife too agrees with him.
Our language is called the mother tongue
because the father never gets a chance to Speak.!
A young man doing a market survey, knocked on a door. He was greeted by a voluptuous young woman, with three small children running around her.
Young Man: “Good afternoon, Ma’am. I am doing a small market survey, on usage of Vaseline. Have you ever used the product ? ”
Young voluptuous lady; ” Oh yes. My husband and I, use it almost every night ! ”
Young Man: ” Ma’am, if you don’t mind me asking, what do you use it for ? ”
Young voluptuous lady: ” We use it for sex ! ”
The surveyor, was taken aback with her frank answer !
Young Man: ” Ma’am, that is indeed a straight answer. Usually people lie to me. They claim that, they either use it on their child’s bicycle chain, or, to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex ? ”